Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Chicken Diaries

This is a story by me (Parker) told from one of our new chicken's perspective.

Here's how it started.  One day I was playing on a 200 chicken ranch with my chicken friends.  Then, the next thing I knew I was being chased all over the yard by this very hairy monster.  The tall, thin farmer with long arms, long hair, and an even longer beard was trying to capture me (My Mom says to think Z-Z Top).  Z-Z cornered me against the fence, grabbed me, and shoved me in a small, cramped, stinky cage with 200 billion other chickens (not really - it was probably 20 other chickens).

Z-Z gave me to a family with 4 children.  The kids were treating me like a baby doll.  I was being rocked, cuddled, even bathed.  I almost lost it.  They stuck me in another cage, then a car, and then they named me "Buff Chicken."  They named me after some cat.  When the car finally stopped our cage was then strapped to roaring monster (a 4-wheeler).  The 4 wheeled monster moved us to a red coop. 

After that it happened.  DOGZILLA showed up.  It was horrible.  It tried to EAT me!  It smelled like a dead mole and barked at holes.  I hope Dogzilla's return doesn't happen on this farm. 

I was grabbed by  my tail feathers, pulled out of the cage, and dropped into the red coop.  The coop was nice except for all the chickens.  There were 22 of us in that coop.  I think that coop was only built to hold 15.  I would have called a chicken exterminator but there was no phone in the coop.  We were stuck in that overpopulated coop for 4 days. 

We must have all died from heat exhaustion or over crowding because when we came out of the coop we went to chicken heaven (the vegetable garden).  There were yummy, delicious leaves everywhere.  Hiding under the delicious leaves were giant, juicy, squash bugs.  I ate bugs until my beak was sore.

The best part about our new home is Chicken Daddy.  He comes by 3 times a day and screams, "Heeeeeeeeerrrre chick- chick- chick- chick- chick- chick- chick."  He's always transporting bowls full of YUM, YUM, and YUM.  It may just be scraps in their world.  But in our world it's a feast. 

I've decided, a chicken that isn't living here - isn't living.

Parker (mom helped type)


  1. Parker, you're a mess. That was pretty funny. xD

  2. Loved the name "Chicken Daddy"! Great job Parker J!


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