Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Pooping stump

One day my siblings are up at the cow barn playing.  The girls are playing some kind of pioneer game and my little brother (4) is off doing whatever he does when no one is talking to him.  (Probably talking.)

Later my little brother walks up to Shelby (2) and says, "Hey Shelby, Want to see my pooping stump?"  

She said, "One. No. And two.  You have a pooping stump?!"

It turns out he does have a pooping stump.  I have seen it.  There is no cover around it.  It is a free standing stump next to a tree and completely visible to the house, cow barn, half the driveway, and the front and side yard.

Fast forward six months.

We are at the ball field for a practice.  My little brother decides he needs to go to the bathroom.  We try two bathroom areas.  Boys and girls bathrooms.  A total of 4.  All locked.  I ask him if he has too go number one or number two.  Number two.

"We're hosed."  Then I notice some woods.  I ask him if he can go in there.

He asked, "Are there any stumps?"

Now if there were stumps all would have been well with the world.  Though some bushes would have been nice too.

But I say, "Probably not.  Why can't you just squat?"

He says, "Last time I did that I got poop in my undies."

Lovely.  But there wasn't enough cover in the woods anyways.  We go back to my mom and tell her all the bathrooms were locked.  She asks if he has to go number 1 or 2.  2.  Great.  But some nice people pointed us in the right direction to a bathroom and we were all happy.


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